1.Because I Got High
I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
my room is still messed up and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I was gonna go to class before I got high
I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high
I am taking it next semester and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I was gonna go to work but then I got high
I just got a new promotion but I got high
now I'm selling dope and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high
they took my whole paycheck and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I wasnt gonna run from the cops but I was high
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high
Now I am a paraplegic
because I got high...because I got high...because I got high...
I was gonna pay my car note until I got high
I was gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high
now the tow truck is pulling away and I know why
because I got high...because I got high...because I got high...
I was gonna make love to you but then I got high
I was gonna eat yo pussy too but then I got high
now I'm jacking off and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I messed up my entire life because I got high
I lost my kids and wife because I got high
now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
I'm gonna stop singing this song because I'm high
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high
and if I dont sell one copy I know why
cause I got high... cause I got high... cause I got high...
2.Crazy Rap
(Wait a minute, man. Hey, check this out, tell it. It was this
blind man, right？
Man, check this out- it was this blind man, right？
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right？
Hey. He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'？
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said,
Woooooo, good morning, ladies.
You like that shit, man？ Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit,
man.
I tell you what- my man on the guitar, fool on the drums,
everybody just crowd around the mic, I'll tell you all these
mutha-fuckin' jokes.
But first, I'ma start it off like this. Hey, help me sing it,
homeboy.)
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them
dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from
here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton
rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
Well it was just sundown in a small white town. They call it
Eastside Palmdale.
When the Afroman walked through the white land, houses went up
for sale.
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds when I met a
little girl named Jan.
I let her ride in my Caddy cause I didn't know her daddy was the
leader of the Klu Klux Klan.
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo', fucked so long, I grew
a fuckin' afro.
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right. She sucked my
dick 'til the shit turned white.
I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba! Got my ass lookin' like a
ZEBRA!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way, until her daddy
pulled up in a Chevrolet.
I ran. I jumped out the back window, but her daddy, he was
waitin' with a 2 x 4.
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right. The
mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night.
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad, that's the best damn
pussy I ever had.
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine. I'm a fuck that bitch
just one more time.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them
dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from
here to Hong Kong.
So roll, roll, roll my joint. Pick out the seeds and stems.
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palmdale, skatin' on Dayton
rims.
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville.
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell, I bet my caddy will.
I met this lady in Hollywood. She had green hair, but damn she
looked good.
I took her to my house, cause she was fine, but she whipped out
a dick that was bigger than mine.
I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African.
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice. I ate that pussy like
shrimp fried rice.
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya. I met a woman in the
heart of Australia.
Had a big butt and big titties, too, so I hopped in her ass like
a kangaroo.
See, I met this lady from Hawaii. Stuck it in her ass, and she
said, Aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch, then her titties busted
open with Hawaiian Punch.
Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky. She said,
I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me.
I came in her mouth. It was a crisis. I gave her my secret blend
of herbs and spices.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them
dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from
here to Hong Kong.
Hey, wait a minute man, check this out.
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee. Her titties were filled with
Hennesy.
That country music nearly drove me crazy, but I rode that ass
and said, Yes, Miss Daisy!
Met this lady in Oklahoma; put that pussy in a coma.
Met this lady in Michigan; I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch
again.
Met a real black girl in South Carolina; fucked her 'til she
turned into a white albino.
Fucked this hooker in Iowa. I fucked her on credit, so I owe
her.
Fucked this girl, down in Georgia; came in her mouth. Man, I
thought I told ya.
Met this beautiful sexy ho; she just ran cross the border of
Mexico.
Fine young thing, said her name's Maria. I wrapped her up just
like a Hot Tortilla.
I wanna get married, but I can't afford it. I know I'ma cry when
she gets deported.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns, singing them
dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from
here to Hong Kong.
Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck, but the pussy
just ain't no good？ (SAY WHAT？)
And then you're getting' upset cause you can't get her wet, plus
you in the wrong neighborhood？
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy, but it takes her so
long to come (SAY WHAT？)
Then a dude walks in. That's her big boyfriend, and he asks you
where you from？ (Where you from, man？)
So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain (I don't bang.),
you start talkin' real fast.
But he's already mad, cause you fuckin' his wife, so he starts
beatin' on your ass.
Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody, your dick was
hard but now it's soft. (WHUT？)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world, now you still
gotta go jack off.
Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need.
We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed.
3.She Won't Let Me Fucc
(Hey Sugar, how you doin'？ Your pretty face don't match that
nasty attitude.
What do you mean, 'Where's my girl？' Probly with your man. Can
we fuck？)
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
She won't let me fucc.
I really need to bust a nut.
(Hey, check this out.)
It's so frustrating being a man, all these sexy women don't
understand
Things we need to do, every other day or two
Like take you home baby, and make sweet love to you,
But you, you won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (You say the mood ain't right.)
I really need to bust a nut. (I know that pussy's tight.)
She won't let me fucc. (Give it to me, baby.)
I really need to bust a nut.
Her heart is still broken, (Poor baby.) her emotions are sore.
(I know what you mean, girl.)
She is trying to recover from the man before. (Hey, that's my
homeboy, cuz.)
Her ex-boyfriend, (Who, Jermaine？) he probly can't see (shake
that ass.)
that it was easy for him (uh, say what？) but he made is hard for
me. (Why, man？)
Cause she, she won't let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (Aw, give it to me baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You know just what I need.)
She won't let me fucc. (Girl, you eatin' all my food, you
drinkin' all my beer)
I really need to bust a nut. (you smokin' all my weed!)
You rub your ass against me on the disco floor. (shake that
ass.)
I asked you for your number and you said 'Hell no!'
(That's alright. Hey, fuck that bitch look at that one over
there,cuz.)
You always hang around me everyday. Different women wanna kick
it, but you scare them away.
Now I get offended when you come around, cause I'm tired of my
organs
(Your organs？) going up and down. That sucks, cause she won't
let me fucc.
She won't let me fucc. (Aw, give it to me baby, give it to me
honey.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Don't play with my head again.)
She won't let me fucc. (Let me hit it baby, let me hit it baby.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Are you a lesbian？)
Oh, let me lick it baby. Let me stick it honey. Buccoooc!
I'll give you my money.
Girl, you can have it all. Go ahead and have a ball.
If you want, you can take them both, baby.
In the year 2000 I see thousands of pretty young women I find
arousin'
Grocery store shopping, magazine browsin', many different ways
they keep their hair styles and
Full of boredom, I walk toward 'em, get 'em close to me cause
I'm supposed to be
Male aggressor, female impresser. Say the right things, possibly
undress her.
But that's the post game, this is still the pre-game.
Silly woman She-game. Baby, what's your name？
Even though I'm a freak, I play it off like a college geek,
crack a smile and politely speak
With intellect to the woman I select, hoping that she won't
detect
my egotistical chauvinistical lust I thrust 'til I scream like
Mystical.
The wrong message I hope I'm not sending. Laughing and
pretending my dick's not extending.
Can't be overzealous, she might discover. She's walkin' away,
(Biatch!) blew my cover.
She won't let me fucc. (You know I love you.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Please don't change the subject.)
She won't let me fucc. (We coulda fucked all night long)
I really need to bust a nut. (but, but, but, but your telephone
number is wrong.)
She won't let me fucc. (Girl you got a lot to give.)
I really need to bust a nut. (You dress, you dress, so
provocative.)
She won't let me fucc. (I can see your lingerie, from real far
away.)
I really need to bust a nut. (Bitch, you must think I'm gay.)
Don't make me beg. Baby, let me rub your leg.
Don't make me cry. Look into my eye.
Girl, you damn pretty. Stop actin' so, _？ Put some oil on your
titt--.
Hey, man, I'm up outta here. She don't wanna fuck.
4.Hush
Lyrics：South
Music：South
(Unh, unh! The Quarter Piece Quartet.)
Hush, hush.
Somebody's callin' my name.
(If you listen closely, baby.)
Hush, hush.
Somebody's callin' my name.
Hush, (Listen, baby.) hush. (Sombody's callin'.)
Somebody's callin' my name.
Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord.
What shall I do？
(Hey, man, sometimes my girl think I'm crazy because I wake her
up and I tell her)
Sounds (It sounds, y'know) like Jesus. (Sound like Jesus.)
Somebody's callin' my name. (I know I'm high, but baby)
Sounds like Jesus.
Somebody's callin' my name.
Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord.
What shall I do？
(You know, man, I think about all the hard times I went through
and I think)
I'm so glad (What you glad about man？) that trouble don't last
always.
Can I help you see, because baby
I'm so glad trouble don't last always.
I'm so glad, I'm glad that trouble don't last always.
Oh, my Lord. Oh, my Lord. What shall I do？
(Hey, hang on homeboy let me say this right here.)
I got a feelin' everything is gonna be alright.
I got a feelin' everything is gonna be alright.
I got a feelin' that everything is gonna be alright, be alright,
be alright, be alright.
(Hey man, it's funny, cause I learned this song when I was a
little kid, when I went to visit my grandaddy down there in
Moblie, Alabama. He stayed in this place called Trinity Garden,
you know what I'm sayin'？ YEEEEAH! And he used to grow his
vegetables right there on the side the house and every now and
then he'd get me to help him out, you know what I'm sayin'？
YEEEEAH! And as he was like, weedin' out his garden and
everything, he'd sing all kinda tunes and hymns, you know what
I'm sayin'？ YEEEEAH! And sometimes he'd sing the same one like
over and over and over again, you know what I'm sayin'？ YEEEEAH!
And he'd get tired of singing the words so sometimes he'd take a
sip of his water outta that glass jar, set it back down and
while we was plantin' them collard greens, he'd hum it just like
this right here. Hey, help me out cuz, you know how we used to
do it.)
Bucccoccccc!
It gets all in my hands. It gets all in my feet.
It makes me wanna sing a song to every little girl I meet.
It gets all in my heart. It gets all in my soul.
It comes straight out my mouth, and then I lose control.
Cause I got this feelin' that everything's gonna be alright, be
alright, be alright, be alright.
5.Tumbleweed
Wait a minute man
Ay check this out man
It was this blind man, right？
Man check this
It was this blind man, right？
He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right？
Ay, he walked past this fish market
You know what I'm sayin'？
He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said
Woo, good morning ladies
You like that shit man？
Ay, I got a gang of that shit, man
I tell you what
My man on the guitar
Ay, fool on the drums
Everybody just crowd 'round the mic
I tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got man
So first I'm gonna start it off like this
Help me sing it home boy, come on
Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin on datin rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and my cd's just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
Well it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it eastside Palm Dell
When the Afro Man walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's
when I met a little girl named Jan
I let her ride in my Caddy
cuz I didn't know her daddy was the leader of the Ku Klux Klan
We fucked on the bed
Fucked on the flo'
Fucked so long I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left
Fucked to the right
She sucked my dick 'til the shit turned white
I thought to myself
Sheeba sheeba got my ass lookin' like a zebra
I put on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin with a two-by-fo'
Oh, he beat me to the left
He beat me to the right
The motherfucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudice dad
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
Got a bad of weed and a bottle o' wine
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dell
Skatin on datin rims
So roll, roll the 83
Cadallac Coupe Caville
If my tapes and my cd's just don't sell
I bet my Cavy will
I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair but damn she looked good
I took her to my house
Cuz she was fine
But she whooped out a dick that was bigger than mine
I met this lady from Japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once
I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice
Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in the heart of Australia
Had a big butt and big titties, too
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo
See I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass and she said I E
Lips was breakfast
Pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with Hawaiin punch
Met Colonel Sanders wife in the state of Kentucky
She said I'll fry some chicken if you just bump me
I came in her mouth
It was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
And as the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee
Her titties were filled with hennessy
That country music really drove me crazy
But I rode that ass and said 'Yes, Miss Daisy'
Met this lady in Oklahoma
Put that pussy in a coma
Met this lady in Michigan I can't wait 'til I fuck that bitch
again
Met a real black girl down in South Carolina
Fucked her 'til she turned into a white albina
Fucked this hooker in Iowa
I fucked her on credit, so I owe her
Fucked this girl down in Georgia
Came in her mouth now I thought I told ya
Met this beautiful sexy ho
She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico
Fine young thang said her name's Maria
I wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
I wanna get married but I can't afford it
I know I'm a cry when she get deported
Colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark smoke that tumbleweed
As the marijuana burn
We can take our turn
Singin' them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like Cheech and Chong
It still takes from here to Hong Kong
Have you ever went ova' a girl's house to fuck
But the pussy just ain't no good？ (say what)
I mean you gettin' upset cuz you can't get her wet
Plus you in the wrong neighborhood
So you try to play it off and eat the pussy
But it take her so long to cum
Then a dude walk in
That's her big boyfriend
And he asks you where you from (where you from homey？)
So you wipe your mouth and you try to explain (I don't bang)
You start talkin' real fast (I don't bang)
But he already mad cuz you fuckin' his woman
So he start beatin' on yo' ass
Now ya clothes all muddy
Ya nose all bloody
Your dick was hard but now it's all (what)
You thought you had a girl to rock your world
Now you still gotta go jack off
Said colt 45 and two zig-zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park...
6.Let's All Get Drunk
Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight
with a punk tonight. (C'mon.)
Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight.
(C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.)
Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back
to jail tonight. (Not tonight.)
Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love
tonight.
Let's get dumb, drink some rum. Make my teeth and gums feel real
numb.
We'll be thinking 'bout surviving while we're drinking and we're
driving.
Hope I don't wreck when my vision gets blurry. Sober up looking
at an all white jury.
Judge don't like no drunk like me. Punk might give me strike
number three.
Cause when I'm drunk and when I'm high, I don't give a damn
'bout a DUI.
Let's just get lit, dance like a nitwit, try to talk to the
women that we can't get with.
Me and my staff make everybody laugh. If the beer runs out, we
can all go half.
It's Friday night. Got the perfect weather. Lets get drunk
together.
Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight
with a punk tonight. (C'mon.)
Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight.
(C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.)
Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back
to jail tonight. (Not tonight.)
Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love
tonight.
Bacardi. Colt .45. Let's party. We're still alive.
Tomorrow brings pain and sorrow, but tonight, we're all right.
Drink that beer 'til your belly can't hold it. Tell the
homeboys, we fittin' to get loaded.
Rollin' through the Ante-dope Valley out there. Hope the cops
don't smell
That beer on my breath, cause if the sheriff catch a whiff of
that fifth, it'll probly knock him stiff.
Don't look dumb if my breath on hum. Stick your hand in you're
pocket, please, pass some gum,
So the cops can't tell my breath smell. We won't go to jail,
we'll go to Palmdale
With the beautiful women and the beautiful weather, we can both
get drunk together.
Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight
with a punk tonight. (C'mon.)
Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight.
(C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.)
Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back
to jail tonight. (Not tonight.)
Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love
tonight.
Baby, I beg your pardon, but your outfit's giving me a hard-on.
Maybe some way, maybe some how, you could dance with me, right
here, right now.
Been lookin' at you all night long. That DJ's playing my
favorite song.
Everything is splendid, don't mean no harm. Don't get offended
when I pull your arm.
I ain't felt this good since I don't know when, and I might not
feel this good again.
It's Friday night, beautiful weather, let's get drunk together.
(C'mon, y'all.)
Let's all get drunk tonight. (Hell yeah.) I hope I don't fight
with a punk tonight. (C'mon.)
Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight.
(C'mon, dance with me baby, c'mon.)
Let's all sell yell tonight. (Sling yay.) I hope I don't go back
to jail tonight. (Not tonight.)
Let's go to the club tonight. Find a woman that wanna make love
tonight.
Let's all get drunk tonight. I hope I don't fight with a punk
tonight.
Let's all get high tonight. Maybe nobody will die tonight.
Let's all sell yell tonight. I hope I don't go back to jail
tonight.
Let's go to the club tonight. Find a girl that wanna make love
tonight.
7.Tall Cans
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shit, shit, shit
Now I walkin？down the street with some chicken and a 40.
I yellin？at these hoochies and I lookin？for a party.
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain no more.
Run out the door, slap the hoe, get the dough, and go back to
that liquor store.
Yeee-ha!
Afroman likes tall cans. Say what？ Say what？ Afroman likes tall
cans.
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
Now I an Afro-holic called the Afroman. Love to sag my khakis
with a tall can.
My homies popped a 40 of some St. Ides, now that mother-UNH
staggerin？from side to side.
We the loudest homeboys in my neighborhood. We look real bad but
we feel so good.
My thirst is quenched, but my cravin？won extinguish.
I need some 40 oz. Mother-UNH Old English.
Put the top in my mouth. Put the bottom to the ceiling.
Drink it down, down, until I get that crazy feeling.
I just walkin？down the street with some chicken and a 40.
I yellin？at these hoochies and I lookin？for a party.
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain no more.
Run out the door, slap the hoe, get the dough, and go back to
that liquor store.
Yeee-ha!
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
See these girls be actin？all bad and rude. Always got a bad
attitude.
You see I just wanna dance. Why can you get the picture？
You act like a brother wanna move in with ya.
I gots no fame. I gots no wealth, so I wind up dancin？by my
goddamn self.
But I paid my money just like you, so baby, I a do what I came
to do.
You see I can wait around il I get rich just to make your
gold-diggin？attitude switch.
So I walkin？down the street with some chicken and a 40.
I yellin？at these hoochies and I lookin？for a party.
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain no more.
Run out the door, slap the hoe, get the dough, and go back to
that liquor store.
Yeee-ha!
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
I stepped into this party full of Mexicans. I didn realize I was
the only black man.
One hand on my bottle, the other on my peter. I barked like a
dog and started freakin？seritas.
I think she was embarrassed with the 8-ball in my cup.
She kept on steppin？back and so I kept on steppin？up.
This paco strolled up, put his gun to my head. I knew if I moved
I was officially dead.
That had to be his woman. I know it dog gunit. That ain the
first time that I got confronted.
Got my ( ？ ) What up Essay？ Get the fuck outta here.
I said I gone mother fucker, just give me my beer.
Cause I walkin？down the street with some chicken and a 40.
I yellin？at these hoochies and I lookin？for a party.
Drink it fast, make it last, till you know it ain no more.
Run out the door, slap the hoe, get the dough, and go back to
that liquor store.
Yeee-ha!
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
Afroman likes tall cans. Afroman likes tall cans.
REPEAT FIRST 2 VERSES
8.Palmdale
Just like bums, we used to stay in the slums of LA by the way
Gang-bangers killin' each other for rep, sellin' rock cocaine on
my doorstep
Had a ball to bounce plus a bike to ride, but my mamma never
would let me play outside.
But when I got enrolled in elementary school, started bangin'
like a fuckin' fool.
So cool, throwin' up gang signs to the gangster (？), shot an
enemy from across the street
Mamma came home, said she got a good job. Daddy did too. Now
they don't squab.
Financially, we improvin'. 2 months later, son, we movin'.
No more duckin' from shotgun shells. Bought a two-story house in
East Palmdale.
(give it to me now.)
Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(Check it out, check it out, check it out.)
No more rats and no more roaches, livin' next door ito football
coaches.
Now I got a new place to sell me crack. Now I got little white
kids to jack.
I stopped wearin' blue, wasn't trippin' on red. Too busy
squabbin' with the skinheads.
Stupid questions, distract the class. Rubbin' little white girls
on the ass.
I didn't really care if I passed or failed, I knew I was headed
for the NFL,
Until the playoff game, shoulder got hurt. I thought about my
future, layin' in the dirt.
I can't jump, I can't flinch. Superstar player, ridin' the
bench.
Graduate from school？ Don't make me laugh. I got an F+ in basic
math.
(give it to me now.)
Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me.
I gotta do one song for my neighborhood. Bucccoooc!
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out.)
I knew I couldn't make it in the white man's world, so I bought
me some khakis and a Geri curl.
I knew I couldn't make it to the NFL, so I went to East Palmdale
and started slingin' yell.
Fo' sho'! I was makin' crazy dough. Shoulda dropped outta school
a long time ago.
Bought a cell phone, like a nut. Now I deliver like Pizza Hut.
I drunk whisky and Bacardi. I sold dope to anybody.
Me and my homies sold dubs and dimes, took turns bustin' rhymes
just to pass the time.
A white man drove up to my spot. He said, Hey, homeboy, what you
got？
I put a fat rock inside his hand. About 25 sheriffs jumped out
the van.
(Get down, punk.)
Palmdale, (Hell, yeah) come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out, check it out, check it out.)
Can't get drunk. Can't get blunted. LA County, 95 hundred.
Crips wanna take my All-stars. Bloods wanna eat my Snicker bars.
Them peckerwoods don't want none, but the Mexican's straight own
one.
Them Essays, (？？？) that Essays always try to test me,
So I jumped off the bed, cause I ain't no punk. Jammed his head
up against the bunk.
Socked that Cholo in his chin. Black mutha-fuckas scared to jump
in.
Sheriff broke it up when we hit the floor. I kept talkin' shit
cause I want some more.
Back in town, we get along with the brown. Now I'm in jail, they
tryin' to beat me down.
Jail is hell, but I'll adapt. Won't hesitate to get in a scrap.
'Cause I'm down for mine, and that's for certain, sittin' in the
hole with my knuckles hurtin'.
(Palmdale)
Palmdale, (Hell, yeah.) come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(check it out, homeboy.)
Now I got a fucked up life. Two bad kids and a naggin' wife.
Dead end job at the airport. Check too short to pay the house
note.
Turn on the TV, then I see different homeboys that went to
school with me
Playin' in the NFL. We used to kick back in East Palmdale.
Rodney Williams. Lorenz Tate. Zeno plays for Colorado State.
I wish my homeboys much success, but at the same time, I still
get depressed.
Walkin' through the wind with a cup full of gin thinkin' 'bout
things that coulda, woulda, shoulda been.
I wipe my tears, sip my beers, wish good luck to my peers.
(Palmdale.)
Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began.
Palmdale, come back to me.
I need you and I love you, baby.
Palmdale, come back to me.
Cause that's where my heartache began, heartache began.
Palmdale, come back to me.
(Hey, all the homeboys on the football team, where y'all at？)
Palmdale, come back to me.
(Hey, wherever you at in the world, I don't care if you in
Japan, Africa
hey, you know how we used to do it, man. Hey, hey, hey.)
Yo, let me get a Palm (Palm!)
Yo, let me get a Dale (Dale!)
Yo, what do we sell？ (Yell!)
Yo, where we fittin' to go？ (We fittin' to go back to jail!)
Dale. Palmdale. (Hey, everybody just clap your hands.)
Dale. Palmdale. (C'mon, c'mon, c'mon. Buci-buci-bucccoooc!)
Dale. Palmdale.
Dale. (Where them Falcons at？) Palmdale. (It ain't over 'til the
fat man sings.)
Dale. (Little Rock can't get none. What, what？) Palmdale.
Dale. Palmdale.
9.Mississippi
(Palmdale was like the peak of my life, but Palmdale over with,
homeboy. I'm fittin' to go home cuz.)
Please take me back home, (You know what I'm sayin'？) to
Mississippi.
(I got my Greyhound ticket right here, man. I'm fittin' to go
back and kick it with my family, cuz.)
Please take me back home, (take a couple pounds of this weed) to
Mississippi.
(You shmell me, homeboy. Yeah, take them fools back to '82,
cuz.)
Before South Central Palmdale flossin', I stayed in a place
called Palmer's Crossing.
Hattiesburg, Mississippi, smoking marijuana like a Woodstock
hippy.
All my homies in Laurel, beg borrow, buy my rap tape tomorrow.
(Bucccoc!)
Tell DJ Pumpkin Keep it crunckin' Clyde. Request my tape when
you go inside
So I can take Jane and girl to Waynesboro, fuck their little
homegirl,
make her toes curl, rock their world, leave with their Auntie
Sheryl.
She sucks me sucks me, fucks me fucks me, cries every time I
leave Biloxi
But I hops in the Coup, 'cause I gots to go scoop another ho
from Tupelo
Hit it once, hit it twice, then I hit it again.
Hit it in Meridian, make that bitch rub her clit again,
pinch the nipples on her tit again, suck my dick until she spit
again. BUCCCOC!
Please take me back home, (Hell yeah!) to Mississippi.
Crooked letter, crooked letter, hump-back, hump-back, Afroman's
the bomb, bump that!
Please take me back home, (Hell yeah!) to Mississippi.
From the delta to the coast, I'm doin' the most, grab your 40oz.
Let's toast.
I sold rock cocaine down in Ellisville. Baseheads hit the pipe,
they can tell it's real.
Kept my dope stashed with this hootchie, way down yonder in East
Bouche.
Cops be sweatin' outa town, dog. Sweatin' my car with a hound
dog.
Separate me from my bitch and shit, tryin' to get my bitch to
fuckin' snitch and shit.
Officer Roscoe P. Coltrane running warrant checks on the Afroman
But I can't be no hip hop star cuffed in the back of some police
car.
Did you find the gun？ NO!
Did you find the dope？ NO!
Open up the back door. Well, son, you're free to go.
A-F-R-O marijuana cargo, __
C'mon, Let's all get drunk tonight. I hope I don't fight with a
punk tonight.
Get nervous, as I swerve this Cadillac through Purvis.
Hope I don't crash when I hit Petal, get my ass kicked in the
white ghetto.
Prejudice police won't let me go, so I'ma drive slow, hide my
'fro.
I was dumb, now I'm dumber, y'all, last summer, y'all,
I fucked all the little girls down in Sumrall.
Grabbed my guitar and started pickin' a tune for Nikki and June
down in Picayune, baby!
Just like a shovel I be diggin' all the pretty young women in
Wiggins.
On the boat, Gulfport, I got my dick down some girl's throat.
(BUCCCCOC!)
I can't help it, I'm a Crip, baby. I think you need to wipe your
lip, baby.
Hula Hula Hula, the whole house ruler. What's up with all the
bitches down in Pascagoula？
Small towns, small cities, but they still got big ol' asses plus
titties.
Is it a bird？ Is it a plane？ It's the hungry hustler, Afroman
Flying through the air in my underwear, Geri curl activator in
my hair.
I'm in control like Janet, when I hit Jackson. Always getting
plenty panty action.
McClaine. Even McComb. Tell the whole world Mississippi's your
home.
Yazoo, Columbia and Natchez. I got the weed brother, who got the
matches？ (I do.)
Who got the funky DJ that scratches？ (I do.) Depend on me like
my name was patches.
First it was a black thing, just the big Willies. Now I roll
Phillies with all the Hillbillies.
Never ever thought I'd see the Klu Klux Klan buying front row
seats for the Afroman
Confederate flags tobacco in their mouth. It's a beautiful thing
jumpin' off in the South.
Afroman, I'm a part of it. Hattiesburg hip hop, I'm the start of
it.
I'm the latest. I'm the greatest, and all you haters, I'll mash
you like potatoes.
I'll make your girlfriend holler and scream, then cook me some
cornbread and collard greens.
BUCCCOC!
Please take me back home, (Hell, yeah!) to Mississippi.
Crooked letter, crooked letter, hump-back, hump-back, Afroman's
the bomb, bump that!
Please take me back home, (Hell yeah!) to Mississippi.
From the delta to the coast, I'm doin' the most, grab your 40oz.
Let's toast.
!982, '83, '84 Erin, Broste, Carlos, and Tonto.
Tryin' to break dance in my B-Boy stance, Micheal Jackson glove,
parachute pants.
Calvin Gary, Garnett Jones. G-dog, cuz, I don't believe we're
grown.
But hey, G-dog, you and me'll see dog. Whatever happens, cuz,
it's you and me dog.
Or should I say loc, (loc) cause you my folk (folk) so let's
take a toke (toke) till we croak (croak).
I'm a locster locster, honey spokester, drinking everyday like
I'm supposed to.
Bottle after bottle, dog, in my lip-a, flowing on the mic like
the Mississippi river.
Please take me back home, (Hell, yeah!) to Mississippi.
Crooked letter, crooked letter, hump-back, hump-back, Afroman's
the bomb, bump that!
Please take me back home, (Get on down!) to Mississippi.
From the coast to the delta, Afro, we felt ya. Boy you're so
cold the sun can't melt ya.
Please take me back home, (Yeee-ha!) to Mississippi.
Crooked letter, crooked letter, hump-back, hump-back, Afroman's
the bomb, bump that!
Please take me back home, (Get on down!) to Mississippi.
From the coast to the delta, Afro, we felt ya. Boy you're so
cold the sun can't melt ya.
Please take me back home, (We outta here.) to Mississippi.
10.The American Dream
Yes! Yes! Thank you for inviting me here for my final speech.
Ladies and gentlemen, homosexuals, lesbians, and transvestites,
allow me to introduce myself as the Hungry Hustler, Afroman.
I am the American Dream. Even though the government tried to
experiment with me
by placing me in the projects, I'm still the American Dream.
Surrounded by drugs,
jeopardized my life by living around thugs,
but I'm still the American Dream.
Kicked outta Palmdale High School
because I was considered a distraction to the educational
process.
I've traveled through the complete metamorphosis of the justice
system,
and I'm still the American Dream.
Entered Juvenile Hall as a tadpole;
hopped outta prison as a bull frog,
but I'm still the American Dream.
The most rejected, disrespected,
when I went for a job I was never selected,
but I am still the American Dream.
And right about now,
I find it quite serendipitous to see that all of you
some-timin',
wishy-washy, two-faced, back-stabbin',
coniving hypocrites have accumulated here in my midst to
persecute my character
with such flagrant slanderousity,
but I counter-attack by calling it constructive criticism,
and all of your negativity has been recycled into motivation,
and I am still the American Dream.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see.
There's a lot of people out there who can identify with me.
Young lady right here, you may be a single teenaged mother,
but you are still the American Dream.
The lady next to you, yes. Your breasts may not be as big as men
think they should be,
but you are still the American Dream.
Young man, you may not be a baller, shot caller,
with 20 inch blades on the impala, but you are still the
American Dream.
Young man right here, you may have spent all your money on a
hood rat bitch
and didn't get no pussy last night, but you are still the
American Dream.
Yes sir, I am just like Ham. I'm for the black man,
the mexican, and even poor white,
all human beings that have no rights. So put down your past,
pick up your future,
follow me as we journey through the Red Sea,
cause I have been to the mountain top,
I've seen the Promised Land,
mine eyes have seen the glory of the Underground Category.
My mind has been delivered.
My spirit has been reinstated from the Corporate World's
modern-day slavery.
I've been emancipated. Free at last! Free at last! Fuck a drug
test,
I'm fittin' to roll some grass. Love, peace, and Afro grease,
Fro-ever! Buccooocc!
A-E-I-O-U, and sometimes W. 'Cuz I'm high, cuz I'm high, cuz I'm
high.
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